This page sponsored by The Original Can O' Whoop Ass
Clunkers on Craigslist and other misguided vehicle ads
"You're gonna' have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a true prince!"
"You're gonna' have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a true prince!"
|
|
|
The beauty of Craigslist for most sellers is it's free.
The tragedy of Craigslist for some sellers is it's free.
Craigslist can be a great resource, no doubt about it. But ads without photos or photos so bad the ads would almost be better off without them; no prices shown; no mileage given; kids, dogs, girlfriends, thumbs, whatever in the way of the vehicle, as if to block some glaring defect; lame excuses for no titles; poorly lit, poorly focused photos; flat tires; stupid headlines; fluid containers, spare parts, trash, beer bottles, etc. sitting on the hood, dashboard, front seat or floorboards; closeups of radio knobs, air freshener, an exhaust tip, headlight, hubcap, barn, dog, mailbox or just about anything except clean, clear, quality photos of the actual vehicle itself does absolutely nothing to draw a potential buyers interest
... except in the mind of the seller.
Ever wonder what they were thinking?
This page is dedicated to all those CG sellers apparently too challenged to post quality photos, full details, price info and other information that might actually help them sell their vehicles. Like the Shoppers of Wal-Mart, we post 'em here when we find 'em for your enjoyment or just head scratching amazement.
IF YOU FIND A CANDIDATE FOR THIS LIST, PLEASE SEND THE LINK HERE AND WE'LL TAKE IT FROM THERE. THANKS!
The tragedy of Craigslist for some sellers is it's free.
Craigslist can be a great resource, no doubt about it. But ads without photos or photos so bad the ads would almost be better off without them; no prices shown; no mileage given; kids, dogs, girlfriends, thumbs, whatever in the way of the vehicle, as if to block some glaring defect; lame excuses for no titles; poorly lit, poorly focused photos; flat tires; stupid headlines; fluid containers, spare parts, trash, beer bottles, etc. sitting on the hood, dashboard, front seat or floorboards; closeups of radio knobs, air freshener, an exhaust tip, headlight, hubcap, barn, dog, mailbox or just about anything except clean, clear, quality photos of the actual vehicle itself does absolutely nothing to draw a potential buyers interest
... except in the mind of the seller.
Ever wonder what they were thinking?
This page is dedicated to all those CG sellers apparently too challenged to post quality photos, full details, price info and other information that might actually help them sell their vehicles. Like the Shoppers of Wal-Mart, we post 'em here when we find 'em for your enjoyment or just head scratching amazement.
IF YOU FIND A CANDIDATE FOR THIS LIST, PLEASE SEND THE LINK HERE AND WE'LL TAKE IT FROM THERE. THANKS!
1991 MIATA - RAT ROD?
CLICK ANY IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW
|
Some closeups the owner evidently feels are the finer points of this car. Just makes you wanna' pick up the phone and give him your money, don't it?
|
Somethin' about the purple and gold "Crown Royal" bag for a shifter boot cover just makes this soooo classy!
Nothin' says lovin' like a spare tranny stuffed on end inside an old rubber tire.
Plastic dropcloth shows it was stored with care! LOL!
And ya' gotta' love them aftermarket door speakers, sans covers of course. Don't want to get too uptown!
This is one Miata that'd probably be just right for somebody. And only $3,200? Better hurry.
Nothin' says lovin' like a spare tranny stuffed on end inside an old rubber tire.
Plastic dropcloth shows it was stored with care! LOL!
And ya' gotta' love them aftermarket door speakers, sans covers of course. Don't want to get too uptown!
This is one Miata that'd probably be just right for somebody. And only $3,200? Better hurry.
2005 DODGE RAM-MED
CLICK ANY IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW
|
|
Nothin' quite sells a vehicle like puttin' the best picture first! Yessir, indeedy!
A lesson in Basic Photography 101 might have helped! (hint: Never shoot towards the light!)
And such a clean engine bay inspires confidence in how well this truck was maintained. NOT!
Oh snap! Let's put the grille back in to show how nice a truck this really is. Too bad you didn't park it somewhere for the photo shoot OUTSIDE of the dirty, cluttered garage/barn/cave, whatever ... or wouldn't it start?
263,000 miles. $4,000. REALLY? Don't think so, least not for my money.
But hey, at least there's no cracks in the windows. Hey now, that's really somethin'!
A lesson in Basic Photography 101 might have helped! (hint: Never shoot towards the light!)
And such a clean engine bay inspires confidence in how well this truck was maintained. NOT!
Oh snap! Let's put the grille back in to show how nice a truck this really is. Too bad you didn't park it somewhere for the photo shoot OUTSIDE of the dirty, cluttered garage/barn/cave, whatever ... or wouldn't it start?
263,000 miles. $4,000. REALLY? Don't think so, least not for my money.
But hey, at least there's no cracks in the windows. Hey now, that's really somethin'!
2002 FORD TAURUS - GRAMMAR CHALLENGED / Thanks to Ed Davis
CLICK ANY IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW
|
While, arguably, $500 isn't too much for a 77k mile 2002 anything, this seller might benefit from a spelling, grammar and punctuation course.
Not much to say about the photo, 'cause there isn't one. C'mon seller! Everybody has a camera at least in their cellphone, don't they? Maybe he tried but just ended up repeatedly taking selfies and couldn't figure out why. While we can't slam you on your asking price, ever hear of "FPO"? There's no title, after all. According to you, it was lost in a house fire, or maybe your neighbor's dog ate it but it really don't matter 'cause this vehicle's not much good for anything other than "For Parts Only." |
CHEVY TOWN & COUNTRY - ON THE SIDE / Thanks to Mark Collins
CLICK ANY IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW
|
It's always best practice to make the viewing of any photos you do post to be as difficult as possible for potential buyers to see.
Posting photos sideways is always good, upside down even better! Kind of like challenging the viewer to see your pics. Good sport! |
1995 CHEVY VAN - RUST-O-RAMA / Thanks to Bob Westin
CLICK ANY IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW
|
"No brakes, bad tire, bad exhaust system, cracked windshield, body rough. Good engine and trans."
OK, so let's get this straight. For $550 the only thing this seller is really selling here is the "good engine and trans" and maybe the front and rear of vehicle. Most everything else in between is eaten away by rust. Sounds like the seller is the one who needed to call a tow truck which is probably the real reason he posted the ad in the first place! |
2001 HYUNDAI SONATA - CRUSHED PEARLS ON THE BEACH? / Thanks to Tim S.
CLICK ANY IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW
|
|
Seller says "Pearl Paint" but from the photos, looks more like "Peel Paint" or at least clear coat anyway.
Another seller who would benefit from a basic photography course. The blurry and poorly lit photos of interior do little to excite anyone.
The last photo reminds me of one I took of a sunset on a beach somewhere. Is that what the seller's trying to show or maybe just a rusty fender wheel lip? What do you think?
And if anyone can explain WTH this seller is rambling on about in the description don't tell us, 'cause we already lost interest. A little punctuation here, some capitalization there might go a long way in understanding this "foreign" written language. Amazing!
Another seller who would benefit from a basic photography course. The blurry and poorly lit photos of interior do little to excite anyone.
The last photo reminds me of one I took of a sunset on a beach somewhere. Is that what the seller's trying to show or maybe just a rusty fender wheel lip? What do you think?
And if anyone can explain WTH this seller is rambling on about in the description don't tell us, 'cause we already lost interest. A little punctuation here, some capitalization there might go a long way in understanding this "foreign" written language. Amazing!
REAL 1979 LINCOLN CONTINENTAL - AS OPPOSED TO A FAKE ONE?
CLICK ANY IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW
|
Not sure what seller means by "Real" Lincoln Continental but judging from the one partial photo, this one appears to be a real mess. Having the hood and trunk open in the photograph doesn't really add much appeal either.
The flat tires scream "abandoned in the yard 'cause it's parked where it stopped" and "now I want to sell it 'cause it's in my way." No matter how much double talk about how rare and valuable this one is, the seller obviously didn't think so until it was time to put the car up for sale. Seller wants $5,000 for this jewel. At least he seems to think it's a gem but his lack of photos could suggest nothing more than cheap, cut glass. If it's truly as rare as this seller wants you to believe, it's gonna' take a whole lotta' fixin' for a whole lotta' money. Good luck makin' anything back at this price! |
F150 BAMBI SUICIDE TRUCK - DRIVE ONLY IN DAYTIME & NOT TOO FAR
CLICK ANY IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW
|
Another appropriately priced CG vehicle, at least at first glance anyway. The devil's in the details or so they say, which in this case, "they" might be right.
Seller states he has "most" of the parts to fix. Wonder what parts he doesn't have? Says you can test drive but not too far, 'cause "she'll" overheat. Why selling? "Too many things going on right now is only reason im selling." Actually, we can probably think of a few more reasons. Says "it would take a nuclear war head to kill it." Obviously he must consider Bambi a weapon of mass destruction. Poor Bambi. Poor you if you buy this junkyard dog. |
FRIENDLY GUY'S SORRY HE'S SELLING HIS CELICA - OR MAYBE HE'S JUST SORRY, PERIOD / Thanks to Wayne L.
CLICK ANY IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW
|
Nice, steady hand. Wait! Is that a rip in the seat? Who can tell?
|
How can you find fault with somebody who starts the headline with "Hi" and follows with an apology for selling his car.
Listing the condition as "good" seller says, "we'll need a transmission soon" (him and the car?) car will drive just (just?) making clunking noise the car is A5 speed you like to know anything else just give me a holler" Yeah, we'd like to know why he doesn't use punctuation. And drop the good ol' boy act. Nobody wants to buy a car from Jed Clampett. (Cue Beverly Hillbilly's theme song.)
Really nice interior shots, btw. Next time try removing the trash from the back floor. And no, don't put it up on the seat!
Even just a little care when posting an ad goes a long way to keep people from thinking you're a moron. No apology needed.
Listing the condition as "good" seller says, "we'll need a transmission soon" (him and the car?) car will drive just (just?) making clunking noise the car is A5 speed you like to know anything else just give me a holler" Yeah, we'd like to know why he doesn't use punctuation. And drop the good ol' boy act. Nobody wants to buy a car from Jed Clampett. (Cue Beverly Hillbilly's theme song.)
Really nice interior shots, btw. Next time try removing the trash from the back floor. And no, don't put it up on the seat!
Even just a little care when posting an ad goes a long way to keep people from thinking you're a moron. No apology needed.
1979 FORD T-BIRD - IS THIS GUY SERIOUS?
CLICK ANY IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW
|
OK. We get it. This seller must be very proud of his Photoshop skills as evidenced by the pencil filter he used on the photo of his car. Wait! What?
To his credit, he did have a couple other actual photos posted but you have to ask yourself, "WTH was this guy thinking?" Did he think we'd be so in awe of his artistic skills, we'd just have to buy his car? I dunno. From the photo, the body looks kinda' grainy. Just when we thought we'd seen it all. |
BEEMER MISDEMEANOR or How 'bout an M3 for $20k? Nah, don't think so.
CLICK ANY IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW
|
OK, we all know California is the land of milk and honey...and beemers. But maybe in the case of this particular Santa Cruz seller it should be the land of spoiled milk, bee stings and dead beavers.
Might throw in a little delusion while you're at it, 'cause this seller is definitely off his rails thinking somebody's gonna' pay him (or her) twenty large (or even anyhting close) for this 208,000 mile, rolling POS. The "clean" title status may be the only thing clean about this escapee from a demolition derby. (Note the bashed in C-pillar among other things) In a feeble attempt at transparency, the ad does state the car needs body work, as if the photos aren't enough to convince you. But if you are dumb enough to consider buying this just because it says it's an M3, you're just as deluded as the seller in our opinion. Unless of course you can buy it for the couple hundred or so that it may be worth, then hotfoot it down to your nearest "$5000 Push, Pull or Tow" dealership and trade it in for a real car. |
MIATA PROJECT CAR = UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR!
|
|
From ad: "Project car '90 NA 1.6 turbo good transmission ,lsd 58000 miles,115xxx on engine but could use a rebuild but runs and drives obo motivated seller..."
We bet this seller would get REAL motivated if somebody offered him/her anywhere near the asking price of $1,500. Now ya' got a project! |
Some equally unbelievable but real CG Seller quotes:
(Our comments are shown in italics - yeah, just like this.)
"1966 Chevy 2 Supper Sport" - Not a typo, as seller refers to a "Supper Sport" throughout the ad. At least it answers the age old question of "What's for supper?"
"1965 Ford Galaxie XL $10" - Really? $10? At end of ad seller makes fun of anyone who thinks he didn't really mean $10,000. Great way to alienate potential buyers by insulting their intelligence.
"Don't call me. I don't do text. Don't ask if I still have it. If you have to ask your wife, don't bother to come. etc., etc., etc." - Some sellers evidently have anger issues or just don't want to be bothered by all those darn, pesky buyers.
"Car for sale. If interested call". - A true minimalist approach. Probably 'cause those darn CG ads cost so much per word.
"Engine blown. Body rusted. Crack in windshield. No rear door handle. AC works." - Sounds like a cream puff.
"Great runner. Like new condition. 425,000 miles." - Since you didn't include any photos, guess we'll just have to take your word for it, like that's so not gonna' happen.
"Photo shown is not of actual car" - What? Why bother?
"Not sure of mileage. Gauges not working at moment." - How long haven't the gauges been working? "Oh, just couple a months, maybe 20,000 miles or so. I don't really remember. They were that way when I bought it." Oh, I see. Sure, no prob.
"Title lost. Ex-wife has it." - Sounds like it's really her vehicle and you're still in denial.
"Speedometer busted." - No big deal. My beagle sits in the front seat and when his ears start to fly back, I know I'm doing at least 35 mph. "Course when it's cold or rainin' outside with the windows closed, it's harder to tell sometimes.)
(Our comments are shown in italics - yeah, just like this.)
"1966 Chevy 2 Supper Sport" - Not a typo, as seller refers to a "Supper Sport" throughout the ad. At least it answers the age old question of "What's for supper?"
"1965 Ford Galaxie XL $10" - Really? $10? At end of ad seller makes fun of anyone who thinks he didn't really mean $10,000. Great way to alienate potential buyers by insulting their intelligence.
"Don't call me. I don't do text. Don't ask if I still have it. If you have to ask your wife, don't bother to come. etc., etc., etc." - Some sellers evidently have anger issues or just don't want to be bothered by all those darn, pesky buyers.
"Car for sale. If interested call". - A true minimalist approach. Probably 'cause those darn CG ads cost so much per word.
"Engine blown. Body rusted. Crack in windshield. No rear door handle. AC works." - Sounds like a cream puff.
"Great runner. Like new condition. 425,000 miles." - Since you didn't include any photos, guess we'll just have to take your word for it, like that's so not gonna' happen.
"Photo shown is not of actual car" - What? Why bother?
"Not sure of mileage. Gauges not working at moment." - How long haven't the gauges been working? "Oh, just couple a months, maybe 20,000 miles or so. I don't really remember. They were that way when I bought it." Oh, I see. Sure, no prob.
"Title lost. Ex-wife has it." - Sounds like it's really her vehicle and you're still in denial.
"Speedometer busted." - No big deal. My beagle sits in the front seat and when his ears start to fly back, I know I'm doing at least 35 mph. "Course when it's cold or rainin' outside with the windows closed, it's harder to tell sometimes.)
DUMB THUMB PHOTOS - Who started this stupidity?
Like what are you thinking? Somebody's gonna' see your license plate and steal your hoopty in the dead of night or maybe stalk you? If so, that license plate is the least of your worries, trust us! Hundreds, if not thousands of people see your license plate everyday! Are you throwing your thumb in as part of the deal? Who are you trying to hide from? Ex-lover, jealous spouse, drug dealer, ATF? C'mon, get a grip!
Like what are you thinking? Somebody's gonna' see your license plate and steal your hoopty in the dead of night or maybe stalk you? If so, that license plate is the least of your worries, trust us! Hundreds, if not thousands of people see your license plate everyday! Are you throwing your thumb in as part of the deal? Who are you trying to hide from? Ex-lover, jealous spouse, drug dealer, ATF? C'mon, get a grip!
CLICK ANY IMAGE FOR LARGER VIEW
STEALTH DIESEL CAMPER. 'A-Team' RV?
"I PITY DA' FOOL!"
|
Where's B.A. Baracus when you need him?
"Has a bad alternator." Well, what did you think B.A. stood for anyway? "Side door only no rear door" means one way in, no way out. "Will need to be towed. I have no time to fix it. I can jump start it to hear it run." Kind of makes a quick getaway impossible, doesn't it? It also has a broken brake line and a leaky fuel line. " Ah, explains the comment "Will need to be towed." "The interior of box is empty" Plenty of room for bad guys, black ops and all kinds of stuff to make your next camping trip super fun. "Make offer." OK but hold on. We got Mr. T on the other line. Hello?? |
More unbelievable but real seller quotes:
"Oil leaking on ground. Not sure if engine is bad or not." - Well, we have a pretty good idea you're pretty sure. Just sayin'.
"Transmission doesn't shift into gear. Easy and cheap to fix. I just don't have the time." - Uh-huh. Neither do we.
"I'm selling this for a friend, so I don't know anything about it." - Evidently your friend doesn't know enough to post his own ad. Seller feels that plausible denial will keep him from having to lie.
"All jacked up professinal tunered sweet ride on low prof sixteens chipped to go real fast and get good miles a gal too headunit and 2 15 subs inclded remotestart lambo doors reckaro seats ask $10,000 firm no spammer or free rides will post pics soon need gone asap to pay child support for my kids dont call text only" - OMG! Where do we even start? Copied exactly as posted. No kidding. We couldn't make this crap up.
"This truck has treated me great ever since high school, but its time to cut my losses and move on." - So cutting your losses means making them the buyers just so you can move on? Smart thinking ...for an idiot!
"van good condition and clean except for a few things. There's a dent in rear bumper (that's one) cracked intake manifold (that's two) and drivers window doesn't work (that's three) van runs rough" (that's four) - Oh that's right, you did say a few things. No big deal. And if you ignore the dent in the rear bumper, the driver's window and the rough running, that leaves just the CRACKED INTAKE MANIFOLD! And that shouldn't cost much to repair!
"Trades send pic info cash price 5000obo make offer n only willing meet on serious buyers clean title n hand call if serious texts are cool to but will want talk on phone before meet no test drives I don't see cash n im driving tell cash n my hand...." - Can you hear the literacy threshold falling? This seller is setting a new low point. Part of what makes strangers want to do business with any seller has as much to do with what they're selling as with the credibility of the seller, of which this maroon has none whatsoever.
"Oil leaking on ground. Not sure if engine is bad or not." - Well, we have a pretty good idea you're pretty sure. Just sayin'.
"Transmission doesn't shift into gear. Easy and cheap to fix. I just don't have the time." - Uh-huh. Neither do we.
"I'm selling this for a friend, so I don't know anything about it." - Evidently your friend doesn't know enough to post his own ad. Seller feels that plausible denial will keep him from having to lie.
"All jacked up professinal tunered sweet ride on low prof sixteens chipped to go real fast and get good miles a gal too headunit and 2 15 subs inclded remotestart lambo doors reckaro seats ask $10,000 firm no spammer or free rides will post pics soon need gone asap to pay child support for my kids dont call text only" - OMG! Where do we even start? Copied exactly as posted. No kidding. We couldn't make this crap up.
"This truck has treated me great ever since high school, but its time to cut my losses and move on." - So cutting your losses means making them the buyers just so you can move on? Smart thinking ...for an idiot!
"van good condition and clean except for a few things. There's a dent in rear bumper (that's one) cracked intake manifold (that's two) and drivers window doesn't work (that's three) van runs rough" (that's four) - Oh that's right, you did say a few things. No big deal. And if you ignore the dent in the rear bumper, the driver's window and the rough running, that leaves just the CRACKED INTAKE MANIFOLD! And that shouldn't cost much to repair!
"Trades send pic info cash price 5000obo make offer n only willing meet on serious buyers clean title n hand call if serious texts are cool to but will want talk on phone before meet no test drives I don't see cash n im driving tell cash n my hand...." - Can you hear the literacy threshold falling? This seller is setting a new low point. Part of what makes strangers want to do business with any seller has as much to do with what they're selling as with the credibility of the seller, of which this maroon has none whatsoever.
Copyright images shown under fair use policy for educational and/or instructional purposes, which for the purposes of this page are "How NOT to sell your vehicle for top dollar on Craigslist or anywhere else for that matter!"
This page sponsored by The Original Can O' Whoop Ass